Falling Slowly..

I really wanna break down and cry.
I feel so useless..
I know myself clearly,
I know I'm a very dramatic and exaggerating person.
That's why I get angry easily and sad over small small matters.

Well,
I did something bad just now.
Someone asked me for a favor and she was asking it in a good manner actually,
And she even said "Thank you"
But I think because of my ruined mood and so many unhappy things happening,
I was actually offended by her request and claimed that she's taking me for granted for kept asking me to do stuffs for her.
So I kinda scolded the shit outta her.

And then...
I felt bad.
I cooled down and thought for awhile,
And she WASN'T at fault at all,
I AM...
For being so goddamn sensitive and just released all my anger on her...
Seriously I felt really bad.
And I feel like an asshole.
And then the feeling came again,
The feeling of ME feeling that the WHOLE world hates me.
It's been long since I've had this feeling.
And I seriously don't feel good and I really think this way.
I felt really bad and seriously I'm gonna collapse anytime soon.
Great,
Now there are more people who hates me.
Just exactly what I needed at this time...

Also,
To be honest,
I'm not happy with the whole Singing Competition thing.
I'm extremely disappointed.
But anyways,
I still have to promote it and sell tickets.
Cos I already promised that I'll take the job,
So I won't abandon it like that,
I won't do such irresponsible acts.
Seriously,
I really HATE promoting.
Cos you're going class by class and speaking so much when everyone don't even give a damn about what you're saying.
What's worst,
They talk back and ask stupid questions which they think it's funny but it's not,
And ended up NOT buying any tickets.
Okay fine,
I'll tolerate.

Well that's not the end of it,
When you're trying your best to do your job and actually doing it,
Your so-called "boss" doesn't appreciate it.
I mean,
I know this is what I'm suppose to do,
But can you at least say it in a better manner and appreciate my work please ?
Just like what happened today which made me frustrated.
She was absent yesterday so today she asked me if I started promoting and selling tickets already..

**** : Have you started promoting and selling the tickets ?

Spell : Yeah, I already sold 65 tickets.

**** : 65 only huh ?

Spell : I haven't went to ALL the class yet.

See what I mean ?
People should just learn to be grateful at times.
I'm not a god,
I can't do everything in one fucking day.
Also,
I hadn't finished my sentence this morning.
It's actually,
65 tickets sold for audiences,
NOT including the people who are helping out which has about 45 person.
So basicly we've already had more than 100 person,
And we hadn't even asked all the classes yet.
So don't worry "boss",
I won't disappoint you and this time,
You'll won't be able to say I didn't do my job anymore =]

Anyways today's not a really good day..
I'm very very upset...
I don't have the mood anymore...
Sigh..
Just hope that everything turns well....

*Sorry, please forgive me..