Spellman oh Spellman.

Today we had the trip to FRIM and also IU Day.
FRIM was okay lah,
I fell down and my butt hurts.
Then everyone went down to play in the waterfall while i took care of their belongings =]
IU wasn't so okay.
It's kind of a failure and i'm really disappointed in the PA System..
Because of the PA System,
Lots of things are canceled.
Like the presentation,
Which is like one of the most important performance.
Because they're suppose to introduce and provide more information about Mexico.
And because of the stupid laptop,
The presentation can't be done.
So at last,
Cancelled.
Lots of ppl say it's really super boring..
=(

Anyways,
After the performances and games,
Something happened.
And i wasn't happy so i emo-ed.
So after i came back home,
I smsed her.
To apologize again.
She said I ALWAYS insult people.
I didn't explained and just apologized to her immediately.
That's because i know no1 is 100% right.
It's my fault,
And i have to think myself if i really insult people alot or not.
So ok lah,
I admit i got insult people SOMETIMES,
But not always.
Well maybe i do but i don't know it lah..
Well If i did,
Sorry ><
And actually,
I seldom insult people.
But don't care lah,
Just apologize.
So after awhile,
Guy A came to me,
He said that she told him that i called her a bitch and slut just now.
I was so shocked so i smsed her and asked immediately.
And her reaction was...
Not happy again.
She claim that i'm gonna say that it was a joke again.
Well to be honest,
It is.
I don't even mean it by that time.
Jia Meng was there also.
We were just playing around and i didn't know that she actually mind.
Cos it's obvious we're just fooling around.
Plus,
The thing is,
We're not actually referring to her.
But fine,
I'll admit again for doing stupid things like that.

So i got confused and now i'm wondering,
Am i suppose to apologize again and explain to her ?
Well maybe she really don't like it when we do that,
But we're just doing a demonstration and seriously it was just a JOKE.
We weren't referring to her either.
I'm lost now.
Should i apologize AGAIN and explain to her ?
Cos I can't bear letting people thinking i'm this kind of person.
I feel like talking to her about this issue on Monday but,
I scared she'll think that i don't admit my mistakes and hate me even more... T.T
Should i just shut up so that everything will be okay?
Or should i voice out and tell her the real situation ?

If i shut up,
Everything'll indeed be okay but i certainly won't feel great.. =(
But that's what i'm suppose to do,
Sacrifice something.
And to me friendship is really more important.

If i voiced out and negotiate with her,
I'm sure our friendship will be even worst and everything's gonna get worst.
But at least I will feel better because i claimed my pureness.
But i will also be really sad because i lost a friend.. =(

I'm so lost right now..
I really don't wanna think about anything.
And this whole thing is my fault,
I know.. =(
I just hope everything will be gone soon just like the raindrops on the floor after the rain..